Karl Lagerfeld’s

Karl Lagerfeld’s

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from Vogue

1973 – On his boudoir:
“If you see it you will think about everything except sex, because it is the unsexiest room ever. I love unsexy bedrooms.”

1975 – On his working practices:
“I am a sort of vampire, taking the blood of other people.”

1978 – On his early start:
“When I was four I asked my mother for a valet for my birthday.”

1984 – On Yves Saint Laurent:
“He is very middle-of-the-road French-very pied-noir, very provincial.”

1984 – On his feelings following a fashion show: “I’m a kind of fashion nymphomaniac who never gets an orgasm.”

1997 – On living on his own:
“I live in a set, with the curtains of the stage closed with no audience – but who cares?”

2004 – On his collaboration with H&M and relying less on cost and more on the individual’s sense of style:
“Chic is a kind of mayonnaise, either it tastes, or it doesn’t.”

2004 – On weight loss:
“I lost 200lb to wear suits by Hedi Slimane.”

2006 – On music and technology:
“The iPod is genius. I have 300.”

2006 – On staying healthy:
“Vanity is the healthiest thing in life.”

2007 – On his feelings prior to a fashion show:
“I have no human feelings.”

2007 – On being labelled a squanderer:
“If you throw money out of the window throw it out with joy. Don’t say: ‘one shouldn’t do that’ – that is bourgeois.”

2007 – On furnishing a home:
“The most important piece in the house is the garbage can.”

2007 – On his inimitable image:
“I am like a caricature of myself, and I like that. It is like a mask. And for me the Carnival of Venice lasts all year long.”

2007 – On being childless:
“They grow so fast, and having adult children makes you look 100 years old. I don’t want that.”

2008 – On the ongoing fur debate:
“The discussion of fur is childish.”

2009 – On Heidi Klum:
“I don’t know Heidi Klum. She was never known in France. Claudia Schiffer also doesn’t know who she is.”

2009 – His thoughts on the recession:
“Bling is over. Red carpetry covered with rhinestones is out. I call it the new modesty.”

2009 – On his bedtime routine:
“I’m very impeccable and clean before I go to bed. It’s just like right before I’m going out. When I was a child, my
mother always told me that you could wake up in the middle of the night and be deathly sick, so you always have to be
impeccable. I laugh about it now, but I think everyone should go to bed like they have a date at the door.”

2010 – On sunglasses:
“They’re my burka… I’m a little shortsighted, and people, when they’re shortsighted, they remove their glasses and then they look
like cute little dogs who want to be adopted.”

2010 – On interview ettiquette:
“I had an interview once with some German journalist – some horrible ugly woman. It was in the early days after the communists – maybe a week after – and she wore a yellow sweater that was kind of see-through. She had huge tits and a huge black bra, and she said to me: ‘It’s impolite; remove your glasses.’ I said: ‘Do I ask you to remove your bra?’”

2010 – On fame:
“You cannot fight against it. There’s a price you have to pay for fame, and people who don’t want to pay that price can
get in trouble. I accepted the idea of celebrity because of a French expression: ‘You cannot have the butter and the
money for the butter.’”

2010 – On political correctness:
“Be politically correct, but please don’t bother other people with conversation about being politically correct, because
that’s the end of everything. You want to create boredom? Be politically correct in your conversation.”

2010 – On wanting children: “If I were interested in children, I would be a godfather.”

2010 – On his childhood:
“I was very much like a grown-up. I have photos of me as a child wearing a tie, and it’s the same as I am today.”

2010 – On crime:
“Frustration is the mother of crime, and so there would be much more crime without prostitutes and without porn movies.”

2010 – On fur and animal cruelty:
“It is farmers who are nice to the cows and the pigs and then kill them. It’s even more hypocritical than hunters. At least
the hunters don’t flatter the animals. I don’t like that people butcher animals, but I don’t like them to butcher humans
either, which is apparently very popular in the world.”

2010 – On faxing Anna Wintour:
“People I’m really friendly with have faxes. Anna Wintour has one.”

2010 – On phones:
“I send notes. I’m not a chambermaid whom you can ring at every moment. Today, you know, most people act
like they work at a switchboard in a hotel.”

2010 – On intellectual converstaion:
“That’s exactly what I am. As a child I wanted to be a grown-up. I wanted to know everything – not that I like to talk about it. I hate intellectual conversation with intellectuals because I only care about my opinion.”

2010 – On intellectual converstaion:
“That’s exactly what I am. As a child I wanted to be a grownup. I wanted to know everything – not that I like to talk about
it. I hate intellectual conversation with intellectuals because I only care about my opinion.”

2010 – On Andy Warhol:
“I shouldn’t say this, but physically he was quite repulsive.”

2010 – On losing weight:
“Well, there came this new line from Hedi Slimane at Dior that you needed to be slim to wear. It said: ‘You want this? Go
back to your bones.’ And so I lost it all. I lost 88 pounds and never got them back.”

2011 – On designers who complain:
“Please don’t say I work hard. Nobody is forced to do this job and if they don’t like it, they should do another one. If it’s too much, do something else. But don’t start doing it and then say, ‘Aaaah, it’s too much’. Because a lot of people depend on it. What we do at Chanel, thousands of people work on these things; these things are sold in hundreds and hundreds of shops all over the world. People like the big machine, and the money the big machine involves, but the effort… Then, suddenly, they become artists. They are too weak. Too fragile. Non. We have to be tough. We cannot talk about our suffering. People buy dresses to be happy, not to hear about somebody who suffered over a piece of taffeta. Me, I like to make an effort. I like nothing better than concrete reality. I’m a very down-to-earth person, but it is my job to make that earth more pleasant.”

2011 – On designers who complain:
“Please don’t say I work hard. Nobody is forced to do this job and if they don’t like it, they should do another one. If it’s too
much, do something else. But don’t start doing it and then say, ‘Aaaah, it’s too much’. Because a lot of people depend
on it. What we do at Chanel, thousands of people work on these things; these things are sold in hundreds and hundreds
of shops all over the world. People like the big machine, and the money the big machine involves, but the effort… Then, suddenly,
they become artists. They are too weak. Too fragile. Non. We have to be tough. We cannot talk about our suffering. People
buy dresses to be happy, not to hear about somebody who suffered over a piece of taffeta. Me, I like to make an effort. I like nothing better than concrete reality. I’m a very d o w n – t o – e a r t h person, but it is my job to make that earth more pleasant.

2011 – On Coco Chanel:
“What I do Coco would have hated. The label has an image and it’s up to me to update it. I do what she never did. I had
to find my mark. I had to go from what Chanel was to what it should be, could be, what it had been to something else.”

2012 – On retirement and work:
“Why should I stop working? If I do, I’ll die and it’ll all be finished. ‘m lucky to work in the most perfect of conditions.
I can do what I want in all kinds of areas. The expenses are not expenses. I would be stupid to stop that. Work is making
a living out of being bored.”

2012 – On his mother’s words of style wisdom:
“I love hats, in a way, but when I was a child, I’d wear Tyrolean hats, and my mother – I was something like eight – said to me:
‘You shouldn’t wear hats. You look like an old dyke.’ Do you say such things to children? She was quite funny, no?”

2012 – On his distaste for tattoos:
“I think tattoos are horrible. It’s like living in a Pucci dress fulltime. If you’re young and tight, maybe it’s OK, but…”

2012 – On his wedding curse:
“Normally, I don’t recommend me for wedding dresses – they all get a divorce.”

2012 – On his famous white ponytail:
“When I was tired of the fashion for long, curly hair-because my hair was curly-I started to attach [the ponytail]. It was in
1976. So that means that I have had the ponytail for 35 or 36 years! Not bad, no? It’s the easiest hairdo. I’m not very gifted
for hairdos. I don’t like gel and all those products. It’s perfect with this white powder, because my hair is not that white at
all.”

2012 – On his beloved cat, Choupette:
“You know, personally, I don’t even think I’m that famous. Now, Choupette really is famous. She has become the
most famous cat in the world. I even get propositioned by pet food companies and things like that, but it’s out of
the question. I’m commercial. She’s not. She’s spoiled to death. Obviously.”

2014 – On selfies:
“They are this horrible thing where you are distorted. The chin is too big, the head is too small. No, this is electronic masturbation.”

2015 – On books:
“I will not talk about that. I like to read biographies, history, philosophical things like this. But it’s for my private use, and
not for making people say, Oh, how clever this stupid man is. I don’t make intellectual conversation. I’m very superficial.
I’m just a fashion designer. Fashion designers look at fashion magazines, right?”

2015 – On Choupette:
“It’s a miracle in the story. Choupette was not even given to me. Choupette belonged to a friend of mine who asked if
my maid could take care of her for two weeks when he was away. When he came back, he was told that Choupette would
not return to him.”

2015 – On TV:
“I don’t go to movie theatres because I don’t want to be photographed by strangers. People bother me wherever I go.
I like to imagine the world my way. I don’t want second-rate images of the world.”

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