That your blood pressure always reads high when your nurse looks like a super model!
Growl With Your Name On It
There’s nothing in the world like a good growl and we don’t mean like a dog. Personalized growlers are something every man cave owner should have. There’s always something to be said about a name, especially if it’s your own. Preferably a 64 OZ cold glass filled with what ever it is you love to chug, guzzle or even spill. Doesn’t matter because the shits got your name on it and your the man in your own cave!! Besides it’s the one bottle nobody puts their sticky, sneezed up fingers on.
(Please Grrr Responsibly)
“Poles” (Where Votes Really Count)
Lets be honest gentleman, every guy would rather have girls swing bye instead of stopping bye. So why not “Go Go” the distance and get your cave installed with a real shiny one, pole that is…The perfect Valentines Day gift for every couple!! Spice up the love life and get yourself a professional dancing pole installed in your man cave. Practically sold every porn shop, EBay, or even Amazon has them for sale for just a couple of hundred dollars. Look at it as a major investment, it might even double as a support beam for the basement.
Now I’m not saying every women can handle a big pole. You might have to surround the floor with some matting, but there’s no harm in giving her a shot! (I mean on the pole).
Goo Goo About GaGa
Following much speculation, Lady Gaga and the NFL teamed up again for the halftime show for the 2017 Fox’s Super Bowl LI show. This is her second time performing at the Super Bowl. The “Perfect Illusion” singer sang the national anthem at Super Bowl 50 last February. But what goes into a production like this you ask? It’s not just about Gaga, “Halftime Field Team Members” will be tasked with moving and assembling the large rolling stage carts and other scenic elements on and off the field for the show. No experience necessary, but applicants must be in good physical health. Everyone needs to be team member and “Field Team Members” will need to commit to 2 weeks of rehearsals in their entirety. 141 million people on average will be watching the show where there is no room for error. Her performance will average 12 minutes and aired in 234 countries and territories according to the NFL (I didn’t even know that many countries existed..WTF). So remember that during that Bud commercial there’s a shit load of people busting their ass to set up, and take down this absolutely massive production!! So BIG respects going out to the staff and hopefully they eat their Wheaties the night before…..Umm only if your a women!!
Steak Or BJ First?
Ok so I’m just putting this out there guys, FYI there is such a magical day that falls on March 14th one month after “Valentines Day” called “Steak and Blow Job Day”. Who knows if it started as a joke or found on the Internet (because everything you read on the Internet is real) but all I know is I think I would want my blow job first! After all you do get sleepy after each activity but still, can’t let that one get away. Fuck the candy, fuck the card and fuck the flowers. This is your day!!
Sound to good to be true, maybe, simply because rules do apply. On Valentines Day you MUST spend time on satisfying your significant other. Eat some now save some for later!
(Please Eat Responsibly)
There’s Always A Motiv
If you’ve always wanted a fitness tracker but don’t want anything on your wrist or your hip then you’re in luck – Motiv is showing off it’s new smart ring at CES 2017. Apparently it can monitor steps, sleep, calories and even heart rate from your finger, (do not wear on wedding ring finger) and lasts between 3-5 days on a single charge. So for around $200.00 you get to have another item reminding you that you DO NOT live a healthy lifestyle!